Notes from an Experiment in Self-Trust
Do you remember the game? When you were a kid, someone would hide an object and coach you from the sidelines as you tried to find it.
Warmer…warmer…colder…cold…until suddenly – HOT! You were right on top of it.
That’s how I’m living right now.
Following my internal guidance system.
No more overthinking every move.
Just…Warmer. Warmer. Yes, that!
I’m in a full-on experimental mode. I’ve started calling my Faith Forward era.
Faith in Self.
Knowing that I’ve got myself this far, that I’m reliable, have never and will never let me down.
Trusting the somatic signals, the quiet cues, the subtle pulls, and full-body no’s.
The nudges. The niggles. The Yes, before I know why.
The leaps with no rope or net. I’m learning to fly!
My first step was to deconstruct the static and turn down the volume of external noise. Shedding what I know is no longer aligned.
In recent months, I’ve surrendered layer after layer.
And yes, that’s meant grieving, stripping back, transforming resistance…
And it means action.
Always one step forward, even the tiniest of moves. Sometimes one breath at a time.
And then, I tune and hone my internal compass to feel what best serves my son and me.
Although I believe in all things magic, this isn’t ‘woo.' It’s the biology of coherence, how our systems synchronize when we’re in truth.
I often reflect with clients on how the nervous system can function as a pattern-detection system. From the gut-brain axis to vagal tone to interoception, our bodies are wired to notice, respond, and reveal. This is more than metaphor; it’s the lived physiology of alignment.
This is the compass I trust now.
It’s how I move through my life, and how I co-create with my clients.
We’re not outsourcing truth to urgency or performance.
We’re partnering with sensation, resonance, and real-time clarity.
I steer from signals, not shoulds.
And every day, I’m learning to trust my intel more and more.
Do we stay another night here, or move on?
Do I turn left down this road, or stay still for a while?
Do I say the thing, or let it breathe?
I’m getting used to saying, Who knows? And we’ll see.
And trusting that even without a plan, the next right step can still find me.
I’m learning that I don’t need to map everything; I just need to stay open to the signals as they come.
With surrender comes space.
With stillness comes signal and intel.
And from that, I act from love. Not fear. Not force. Just alignment.
I choose to hang out in a version of life that lights me up.
Scene by scene. Person by person. Feeling by feeling.
What do I want to see?
What does safety feel like now?
What does freedom sound like?
Every choice is a creative act.
Every decision is a vote for the world I want to live in.
It starts with listening in and showing up for myself.
And suddenly, as if by miracle (really, because of internal alignment), opportunities open.
The warmer/colder game has become my favourite way to describe this dance.
When my mind takes the wheel, it includes urgency, rules, and obligatory performance. It’s sharp. Efficient. Tight-jawed. (My son calls it ‘corporate.’)
Wired for proof, control, and furrowed brow and mustering through.
That part of me doesn’t run the show anymore.
So I pause.
Drop into my body.
Feel the tightness, the contraction, the static and welcome it in.
Sometimes it needs breath, movement, even voice.
Then, often quickly, I can shift.
I tune back into Self.
What about this moment feels nourishing or depleting?
In what ways did I override Self, or where did I stand in my agency?
What would make my heart sing here?
These kinds of questions keep me oriented away from performance and toward presence.
That’s my real compass now.
Not external validation dressed up as someone else’s expectations.
Not the old rulebook I never chose.
Not even the more pleasant, nuanced noises disguised as great advice.
Just my internal felt sense.
My quiet knowing of what is true for me.
The subtle yes.
A steady sense of this is right for me.
Warmer. Warmer. Yup. Found it!
